A little tITIL-ation
Now many of you out there (ok, that's both of you) reading this may think I am being overly harsh. How do I know the ITIL course is pointless. ITIL is, after all, a significant and valued standard within business. (Please don't ask what the acronym means - I don't know). It really does help businesses get their act together and work more efficiently.
However, I know Toxic having worked there 9 years (yes, it's 5 years too long but that's another story altogether). They have mastered the skill of replacing "full" with "less" - useful becomes useless. It's time to SHOW you what I mean.
The email without the instructions on how to find or take the course had a clue. I went on the intranet and looked around the menu system for something that said training. I could not find it, so I resorted to the search feature. Well, that worked. I click on the link and go to something called "myworklifeToxic.com". On here is a summary of what courses you have enrolled in, and a catalogue of courses that you can look through and choose. Sounds good doesn't it. They even have a menu option for career analysis. This is what you get when you click on it:
coming soon to a job near you...
Booking the ITIL course
However, I know Toxic having worked there 9 years (yes, it's 5 years too long but that's another story altogether). They have mastered the skill of replacing "full" with "less" - useful becomes useless. It's time to SHOW you what I mean.
The email without the instructions on how to find or take the course had a clue. I went on the intranet and looked around the menu system for something that said training. I could not find it, so I resorted to the search feature. Well, that worked. I click on the link and go to something called "myworklifeToxic.com". On here is a summary of what courses you have enrolled in, and a catalogue of courses that you can look through and choose. Sounds good doesn't it. They even have a menu option for career analysis. This is what you get when you click on it:
coming soon to a job near you...
Booking the ITIL course
So, on to the ITIL thing. I look for the course title and I can't find it. I resort to searching for "ITIL" and get a page of results. OK. Just one problem now. The two numbers I need are 10001 and 10007 and the list shows 10002 to 10013 with 07 conscipuous by it's absence. Bloody typical.
I go back and then notice the results of the search has 5 pages to it. I click through and eventually find the two offending courses hiding like cowering lambs on the 3rd page. Great.
It has taken me about an hour of faffing about to find the 2 courses.
I register for them both and then click on "take course". This takes me to a new page with a list of courses I can launch. The ITIL courses are not there!!! I go back and repeat. Nothing. I click help and check that I am doing it right and I am.
Sooooo, I've found the courses, registered for them but now can't find any way to launch them. I go to lunch instead.
I go back and then notice the results of the search has 5 pages to it. I click through and eventually find the two offending courses hiding like cowering lambs on the 3rd page. Great.
It has taken me about an hour of faffing about to find the 2 courses.
I register for them both and then click on "take course". This takes me to a new page with a list of courses I can launch. The ITIL courses are not there!!! I go back and repeat. Nothing. I click help and check that I am doing it right and I am.
Sooooo, I've found the courses, registered for them but now can't find any way to launch them. I go to lunch instead.
I'm in - the tITIL-ation continues
The logical choices don't work. This is getting beyond silly now. In desparation I email the woman who had emailed Toxic telling him his staff were not complying in taking this ITIL course. Unbelievable as it may seem, since she is asking people to take these course, she can't tell me and gives me the address of the training helpdesk webpage. I go there. It's got a phone number, great!! I dial and get a bad tone. I redial slower and careful this time. Same thing. It's a dead number. Double-bugger. I resort to logging a call to the helpdesk asking "where are 01 and 07". I get a mercifuly quick response (within 40 mins) with a link to the site where I can launch the damn courses. I get the OLD training website, that has the same catalogue and list of enrolled courses but it all works, unlike the fancy looking but flawed "myworklife" site. I finally launch the ITIL course, after a day of struggling.
I am presented with this as the first screen (the real company name replaced here) and it looks suitable corporate if slightly bemusing; why IS that man holding a duck?
I soon find out.....
Page 2 has a full 2 minute animation of more ducks dancing around the floor to form a conga, before twirling round some 3D glossy letters. Wow...I'm really learning the core of ITIL here. Unfortunately it's home time by now, so I resolve to continue at home.
The logical choices don't work. This is getting beyond silly now. In desparation I email the woman who had emailed Toxic telling him his staff were not complying in taking this ITIL course. Unbelievable as it may seem, since she is asking people to take these course, she can't tell me and gives me the address of the training helpdesk webpage. I go there. It's got a phone number, great!! I dial and get a bad tone. I redial slower and careful this time. Same thing. It's a dead number. Double-bugger. I resort to logging a call to the helpdesk asking "where are 01 and 07". I get a mercifuly quick response (within 40 mins) with a link to the site where I can launch the damn courses. I get the OLD training website, that has the same catalogue and list of enrolled courses but it all works, unlike the fancy looking but flawed "myworklife" site. I finally launch the ITIL course, after a day of struggling.
I am presented with this as the first screen (the real company name replaced here) and it looks suitable corporate if slightly bemusing; why IS that man holding a duck?
I soon find out.....
Page 2 has a full 2 minute animation of more ducks dancing around the floor to form a conga, before twirling round some 3D glossy letters. Wow...I'm really learning the core of ITIL here. Unfortunately it's home time by now, so I resolve to continue at home.
Once at home, I continue clicking through the slides. I am really learning a lot here. I learn that you need lego bricks...and some ducks with hard-hats.
This is ground-breaking stuff. At this point you might be thinking "oooh, he's a harsh man that Dr". Well to test my knowledge of the subject the course finishes with a quiz. Are you ready?
Hmmm, now which one can it be? What IS an IT asset??
and then by further explanation we're told what is NOT an asset, complete with a picture for those who might not have seen a desk before.
This is the final slide which is a fill in the blanks question. Can you spot my deliberate mistakes??
1 comment:
do you honestly mean to tell me that ducks and legos don't make you learn that a helicopter won't be considered an IT asset?
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