Friday, November 17, 2006

Fri, 17th Nov - SuperJargon

I got an email today. Not exactly earth-shattering news is it. This was special though, as it was an "InfoBlast". This is a new thing for Toxic. It's an email with links to an article on their intranet. I followed the first link, although the audience was not me.

This is what it said:

Update

Lean Six Sigma (LSS) Standards related to previous releases have now been updated and can be found either by navigating through the Toxic webiste or by going directly to the "webpage".

On the LSS Standards page, the user will find a downloadable Excel spreadsheet attachment at the bottom. This Excel spreadsheet contains not only standards published in prior Releases 1 and 2, but also those updated in Release 3. These updates will contain a "3" in the Release Update # column, with detail on what was updated, as well as the reason, in the "Reason for Update" column.



Resources in charge of LSS standards at the hubs and BPO EMEA can contact the Lean Six Sigma Capability SPOCs for BPO Standards, Mickey or Donald, if you have any questions. "

It was at this very point that the de-bullshitting translator machine broke. Steam spewed out of the vents and the air was filled with the acrid smell of burnt sem-conductor.

The problem that followed is that the email to the link went to the web page above which had more links to page with another fews links that opened a spreadsheet that had some MORE links on. Are you getting the idea yet??

I would hate to be the child of one of these people. Imagine their birthday present. They get given a little bag and inside the bag is note telling them to go the cupboard. They open the cupboard and they see a note on a drawer - so they open the drawer to find an envelope. They open the envelope to find a note that tells them to go to another cupboard. They get there and open it to find a sign telling them to open a door. Inside the door is a box, and in the box is a matchbox. Inside is a coin with another little note. The note says "ring this number". They go to a payphone and ring the number..."Your call is important to us, you are in a queue. The current waiting time is 364 days, 23 hrs. Press 1 to speak to your father, 2 to speak to your mother or 9 to hear the options again..."

Is it me?

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