Sweeties

Charity at Toxic begins at home.

For those whose eyesight is failing the note says:

"Did you forget to pay for your sweeties. The sweet box was £2.56 short today.

Thankyou

Sweetie Lady"

Cutlery

The Servery (aka the kitchen) is well equipped for such a toxic place, having 2 fridges, 1 microwave, 1 dishwasher a sink and a kettle.

There's just one tiny, eeny little problem. This is the cutlery drawer. Can YOU spot the problem? (Hint: there used to 75 people at least, working in the building).

Toxic Building - Part Deux

Here is another little gallery of the strange quirks of the building that Toxic is based in.



This is a shot of the huge air-conditioning units that serve the building with some gorgeous art work by some of the local louts who like to hang out under here.

The area is a kind of tunnel underneath the building, in the car park.











I presume this is a self-portrait by the yoof.

















Here is the ceiling of the area, which is roughly underneath my desk!

The holes are where the yoofs have smashed the tiles leaving lovely big holes for the wind and pidgeons to roost in.



Note the cables hanging down for them to swing on, and the yellow tuft of the remaining insulation material.


The rest of it was blowing around the car park until it rained and became squelched into mush.


















Now then, this is my FAVOURITE photo. This, ladies and gennelmen, is the toilet cubicle.

You will note the full length frosted glass window allows you to sit and admire the car-park and to wave at the people who come out for a sneaky fag (cigarette for the non-UK readers), out the back of the building, whilst you pass your bowels.




















and for those who doubted what lays to the left.......














le crapper avec la fenetre

Harassment is an art form

Here's a little proof that Toxic are really good at training people in things that matter.

They truly excel in this subject matter.

Anti is such a small yet simple word, but change the whole meaning of something...

You really will comply...oh shit

Unable to let go of this little form filling, box-ticking exercise, lest he get rapped on the knuckles for not getting his minions to obey (by high-noon this Wed), Flakey duly keeps up the pressure:

Gents,

Many of you are unable to update Industry Affiliation etc. This field has now been uploaded, from within the tool itself.

Therefore can you please ensure your skills, and certification are upto date.
Please also note that some of you may have Holiday schedules as US Holiday and 40 hour weeks.

If you are unable to update these - please call.

Regards
Flakey

NB - Contractors are exempt from Corp as they are temporary resource

---
Please note the offensive use of jargon referring to human beings as "resource". Allow me to digress a little but my team-mate had long conversation with Flakey in the week where-in Flakey was adamant that contractors could get into Corp, and it was not only for Toxic permanent staff. It transpires, after every other contractor told him the same story of "we can't get in", he finally accepted reality.

Reading the above "this field has now been updated", referring to the item Flakey wanted everyone to fill in, you would think everything is fixed. Wouldn't you? You forget this is Toxic. I look and it is still the same....no edit button, with "classifications" still as empty as Flakey's head.

So, in my little way, I ask the web admins.

From: me
Sent: Monday, January 22, 2007 8:33 PM
To: CorpHelpdesk@toxic
Subject: I can't edit "Classifications"...Case Number: 12121279777//AC
My leader is telling me to do so but I cannot comply. Please fix.

thanks

I got the reply:

Please be informed, that updating the Classification information is the Resource Manager's responsibility and you cannot update it.

Perhaps your manager is telling you to update as you are most likely non-compliant in this area, but again this is your resource manager's responsibility.

Thank you.

Regards,
Corp Helpdesk

----
So I forwarded it to him as FYI...

[Note it was obvious to a blind-man with a paper bag on his head and sealed in a dark room, that this always was something for management to be responsible for, but there's the rub - responsible.

ironincally, Flakey's not job title is, wait for it......Capability Manager.]

Reply to Comply or....

Sent: 22 January 2007 11:42
To: Flakey
Subject: RE: Evolve Profiles and non-compliance

Flakey,

I think you will find that no-one can comply with the request as there is no "edit" on the classifications pane. You can only expand or collapse that item.

The only 3 sections I can edit (and I suspect others are in the same situation) are "schedule", Qualifications and Work Preferences.

I also noticed my working week info is wrong (40 not 37.5) as well as the hiring date but cannot edit that either. I mailed the help people but have no response yet. My guess is that you have the power to edit this (under General Info) and Classifications too.

Thanks,

Mike


Note they had decided (and I say decide because I cannot fathom where else they got the date other than thin air) that I started at Toxic on 1/1/1971. Thankfully, I was only 3 years old at the point...so I was not even if the same country, never mind planet, as them.

Comply or....

It has been a while since my last post, but things have been slow in a way.







Here is a group email from Flakey:




Gents,




Please find enclosed the latest audit report for your CORP profiles and their non compliance.
A majority of the non-compliance are to do with :-




Predominant Functional Role and Predominant Industry
Predominant Functional Role must have a value and cannot be 'Not Applicable'; Predominant Industry must have a value;




This can be found in your profile under -
Select Edit on the Classifications pane.
Please update your records by midday Wednesday 24th January as a fresh report shall be run.




This should take no longer than 20 minutes to complete.







There was just one teensy weensy problem. Staff (underlings) cannot see any "edit" button to click on the classifications pain. Pun intended.

Anyway, I took the opportunity to update this web-based inventory of employee skills...


As you can see I have been busy. I am particularly proud of facial recognition. I can recognise most people in the building now, a skill that my boss Flakey would be hard-pressed to do, since he has only seen and met my team twice.