In loving memory of Pat

This is not really the place to post this, but it does have bearing on the background between me and Flakey.

To cut a very, long, hard story short, in June my mum died from a grade 4 (read worst there is) tumour of the brain, but my management team were unable to bite their tongues as you will see shortly.

Anyway, this is the eulogy poem I wrote:

Bill, Bill!

Get away from the edge
You know I don’t like it,
When you go near the ledge.
Pat was afraid of ledges and heights
But most all she gave us all the frights

Bill, Bill!
There’s a bee, there’s a bee!!
Running around the garden
trying to flee.
Pat was allergic to the honey-bees tail
How we would laugh as her arms would flail

Bill, Bill!
Just look at the water,
Get out there now
and do what you oughta,
Pat was afraid of being flooded and wet
But we live on a hill so it’s not flooded yet

Bill, Bill!
Don’t dare answer that door
The house is a mess,
And I must tidy some more.
Pat was house-proud to all our frustrations
We surely missed out on social occasions

Bill, Bill!!
There’s ants in the kitchen!!
I’m sat on the sofa
and I can’t stop itchin’
Pat was an ant-killer you can all see that clearly,
but she was our mum and we will miss her dearly

Bullying...I'll show you what bullying is then DrMike

Late afternoon Wednesday I send a "nice-o-gram" email out thanking people for helping me finish some work by doing their job testing it! Not that it's my place to do so, but it's xmas and I know management won't thank them. Anyway, following a minor faux paus typo meaning I recalled and re-sent the email when I was kindly told just minutes later by Paw, I get two replies:

You had me going there for a moment.
Good work by you and Fluffy to get this through
Boss A
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Mike,
I would suggest double check your emails before sending…..
Flakey

I felt, how can I say, rather vexed by one of them. One demonstrates how to manage people, the other how to bully. Can YOU spot the difference?

Bullying - what bullying? I can't see any bullying

On Wednesday, two days after both Paul and I had made formal complaints to our manager, Flakey of intimidation, sarcasm, lying and victimisation (all of which we have proof for) I was unable to wait so I ask Flakey to ring me.

This is the conversation, as near verbatim as I can get (it's a skill I have, ironically empowered whenever I get upset):

Part one

Me: hello
RB: are you alright???
Me: yes
RB: it sounded like you fell over there?
Me: no, I was just coming into the office
Rb: silence
Me: have you read the emails
Rb: what emails do you mean?
Me: about what’s going on here
Rb: oh you mean about Paul Medcalf and working from home
Me: yes
Rb: Yes I have
Me: Well have you reached any conclusions?
Rb: I’m sorry??
Me: Have you come to any conclusions about what you have read?
Rb: Well they are both lying but my decision stands
Me: So you mean they are both lying?
RB: well I am not taking sides here but the PMs are telling me one thing and Paul Medcalf is telling me another story completely
Me: but you’ve read Paul’s email?
Rb: yes, but as far as I am concerned the process for working from home is as I communicated to the whole of EUD last week
Me: So you don’t see there is a problem with two other teams doing it one way and Front Office being required to do it another
Rb: I outlined the process last week and that applies to the whole of EUD UK
Me: so you really don’t see there is any problem having a difference in policy?
Rb: I sent the email out last week and that is my policy
Me: This goes back before the email last week though. The whole situation is aimed at just Paul. It is bullying.
Rb: Burying
Me: BULLYING
Rb: I’m sorry – burying?
Me: Bull-eee-ing
Rb: I don’t see that The process is that if anyone wants to work from home then they ask me and they ask the SDM.
Me: So as far you are concerned you don’t see a problem with front office having to ask permission and other teams not needing too?
Rb: No, no at all. I sent the email last week and that is the new policy
Me: So you just made it up?
Rb: I can do what I want
me: I’m sorry but that might be what you learnt at the management school you went to but that’s not the management school that I went to.
Rb:
Me: So are you going to do anything to clarify things?
Rb: Well I am going to send an email later this afternoon.
Me: OK

Part 2

Me: I have to say I feel very, very angry about the way…I feel I have been treated this year
Rb: Oh?
Me: I mean by management
Rb: I don’t remember Mike
Me: What do you mean you don’t remember?
Rb: I’m sorry I can’t think of anything you’ll have to remind me.
Me: I’m not going to put my words in your mouth Richard. Try and think. Think about June. What happened in June?
Rb: Well your mum passed away sadly
Me: and what else?
Rb: We had a meeting where we you signed a consent form for medical examination and we discussed your medical appointments.
Me: Anything else?
Rb: Not that I remember
Me: what about the two days I took off
Rb: You obviously have a better memory than me
Me: the two days I took off two weeks before my mum passed away because I was upset
Rb: we agreed that thanks to your medical history we needed a doctor’s note for those two days
Me: so you don’t see why I would feel upset about any of that?
Rb:
Rb: No
Me: Well I need to have a meeting with you in January to bottom things out…I am breaking up for Xmas today so we can’t do it before then.
Rb: ok

Part 3

Me: ok, well what about the project managers and the way they keep leaving me out of the loop and ignoring me
Rb: the process for working from home…
Me: Richard I am not talking about that now. I am talking about them assigning work now. I want them to only come to me to give work out.
Rb: Oh, ok, well if they are not doing that then I will let them know.
me: ok
Rb: Well thanks for that Mike. Have a good xmas break. Bye matey.

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Matey....I don't think so.

Bullying - found them out

As Paul was really not happy at the way the last few days have gone he decided to call the PM's bluff and ask other staff whether they had to "ask permission" to work from home. It may seem a trivial point blown out of proportion but when you KNOW you are being victimised but the offenders are telling you they are not, you can easily begin to question your own sanity.

He asked around anyway and shock, horror no-one at all has to beg. They ask their team lead and that's it. For Paul, the team lead is yours truly.

Cue the evidence m'lud....


email from Paul:

Flakey,

Following our conversation on Friday, I've been looking into the information that we have been given regarding the Project Managers, and "asking for permission" to work from home.

I have been told as I believe you have also that we are all required to request their permission to work from home. I have been explicitly told by the project managers that everyone does this, and I assume this is the reason that you passed this on to me on Friday.

After asking the question of my colleagues in Toxic I find that this is not the case. In actual fact I can find not a single person that has to ask for permission to work from home from a project manager. I took the liberty of speaking to the A team leader, and the B team leader who have both kindly put this in an email which are copied below.

I mentioned in the last meeting we had with Mungo (PM lead) several months ago that I felt I was being victimised and was assured that I was not.

I now have proof that I am.

I would also point out that neither Dave, or Mike ask the PM's for permission to work from home and neither of them has been spoken to by anyone regarding this. I have had endless accusations put to you and Mike over the past months all of which I have proved to be untrue.

All I want to be able to do is to work in the same manner as my colleagues and for this bullying to end immediately.

I spoke to Agency twice regarding this on the two previous occasions I have been unjustly abused by members of the PM team, and am keeping them informed this time also.

Yours Sincerely

Paul
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Email from Paw - team Leader of A - Toxania

Paul,

As mentioned [ed: verbally], my policy is that as long as the person within A can work productively from home and can be contacted when necessary, then I do not have a problem with my team doing so. Unfortunately A work is generally more hands-on so my team do not often have that opportunity.

I feel, that depending on the type of work that the person is doing, that they should work in the manner that best suits them having the opportunity to get the work done.

I would only explicitly inform the project manager that a person is working from home if it was likely to impact on the current piece of work.

Thanks

Paw
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Email from MCHammer - Team Leader of B, Toxania

Paul

I must admit to not necessarily following a rigorous process in this matter. If a member of staff wants to work from home, I would normally expect them to having a "good reason", e.g. car problems, gas boiler repair, builder coming, etc. I would then assess with them whether they could in fact do the work from home. I would not expect them to ask the PM for explicit permission, they work for me, not the PM. I will generally inform the PM, but I must admit that I sometimes forget! However, if there is an issue it should be between me and the PM, not the individual and the PM.

Regards

MCHammer

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we await a reply, but are not holding our breath.

Corporate survey

Today I had a nice email from "corporate quarters" asking for my opinion on leadership. So I told them...

your Comments:

My immediate leader has behaved like a bully on several occasions and shows no evidence of either ethics or a backbone.

(the demographics are not true by the way so you can't narrow down the anonominity).

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Well, they DID ask.

My response to the boss

Flakey,

I feel things are getting out of control here with regard project management's methods - as in they are handling the situation badly and I have a headache now. Here are the facts:

Lliam just came and sat next to Paul and asked him something about a meeting and then came back and said that Midge has refused to pay overtime.Paul replied that he has done all his hours this week, so will either stay and take the time off next week or go.

Lliam then became sarcastic and started to ask what Paul has been doing all week and had he really booked the whole week to a working on a 5K file. Paul replied yes and asked what Lliam wanted to do. Lliam then walked off and said I will cancel the meeting today and schedule for Monday, and assume you will be in then.

Two hours notice are required for a meeting, not just 30 mins and clearly Paul did not refuse to go to the meeting - he offered to stay and take the time off next week.

General situation

Personally, I find the situation un-professional and totally unnecessary and it seems to have been self-inflicted by the PMs not controlling the situation and then over-reacting totally before going running their superiors (because they have no direct authority) and subsequently getting stuck in an endless loop.

They never, ever bother to tell me anything either about the work, the changes to the work plans or whether they need any of my team and choose to berate them directly and then escalate it - i.e. they choose to cut me out of the loop, alienating both me and my team members and then are "surprised" when said team members are not as friendly on their next conversation.

To make matters worse, I believe that T, the packager who is meant to be working with Paul on the X problem is playing Machiavellian games; I am afraid this now dips into the realms of playground tittle-tattle:

Lliam told me that T has told Lliam he had been trying to get hold of Paul "all day" but when I asked for evidence the exact opposite true.

The fact that it boiled down to a breakdown in communication seems to have been ignored and Paul has been held accountable (i.e. blamed) for "holding things up", when he was doing nothing of the sort and yet the project managers felt it perfectly acceptable for T to go and get his new X5 on Wednesday and not get asked to come in because he was "too far away". This conversation occurred in front of my desk, with one PM getting assurance from the other that "that was all above board and OK".

Summary

Paul, has yet again been made a scapegoat of other people's inability to control a piece of work and of another team's lack of communication skills leading to the apparent gullibility of one PM and compounded by the inequality of other PM's treatment of staff and the worst thing is it was all so totally unnecessary.

The result is that trust has now officially left the building, closely followed by morale.

Going forward

I want the games by other teams to stop, PMs to stop harassing both my staff and come to me and only me if they feel there is even the a hint of problem so that I can deal with it professionally and productively without stress as such stress is no good for anyone's health, least of all mine.

Pram...toys....oop, there they are look - on the floor

As Paul is understandable a little upset at the behaviour of PMs, he arrives late on Friday. However he cannot do anything because T has been given a "severity 1" problem to do. For those of you not familiar with classifications a severity 1 IT issue means that the red telepphone on the directors desk is flashing, the batman silhouette is shining in the sky, the SAS are on standy by and Kate Adie is donning her flak-jacket ready to go in to the troubles-spot.

The nature of the "sev 1" remains a mystery but means Paul can't do any work. Come 2:30pm, T has magically given the work back to Paul and Lliam the PM decides to call a meeting for 3pm.

Unfortunately, Paul is not happy and replies "well, I would like to stay but I have done my hours for this week. Either I stay and get overtime or stay and take the hours off next week or I go."
Lliam mumbles about getting approval for overtime and returns to say "no - it has not been approved".

Paul then repeats his statement and asks "what do you want want me to do?"
Lliam loses the plot....

Lliam: I find it hard to believe you've done your hours as you've not even been here
Paul:
Lliam: and you only came in at 11am today
Paul: you don't normally mention what time I come in
Lliam: so you've done all your hours?!
Paul: yes
Lliam: so you spent the whole week working on a 5K file
Paul: yes
Lliam: and you've charged for that have you?
Paul: yes
Lliam: fine! well I'll cancel the meeting then...(walking away)
...and re-schedule it for Monday now...if you decide to turn up that is...

He is, a little upset.